why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
