I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
porn star boner night. come get it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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