Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
