everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
