If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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