She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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