found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
