I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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