I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
