i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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