Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
