I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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