I want to stick my p in your. b.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
please don't ironically join a cult
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