It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
