He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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