turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
