okay pat passed out under dana's car
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
