i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
