I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
