ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
