have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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