A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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