I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
