Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize