I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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