she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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