there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize