I think i peed on brittanys purse
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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