I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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