saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize