Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
