If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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