We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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