I want to make a zoo with you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
