I think I just saw someone hide a body.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
