maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
