It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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