You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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