he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
