I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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