You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
