Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
