Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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