College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
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Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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