I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
