I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
