Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
