Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
