I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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