Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize