You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
