So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My penis needs a shock collar
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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