You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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