You're my little dorito
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
