okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
