i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
