I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize