don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't EVER smell your tampon
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
