That's intense
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
