I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize